Beech Tree Therapy - Thoughts, Ideas and Actions

How do you reflect on a year that has been like no other?

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 20:55:07 GMT

And a lesson from Viktor Frankl.

How do you reflect on a year that has been like no other?

A time when we were told to ‘work together by staying apart’, when lives have been turned upside down and what was not possible for many (work from home), is now the rule. Where technology has permitted us to grow new skills of digital connection in a world alien to the multitude twelve months prior. Teachers, Parents, Students, Grandparents, Friends, even my fellow Counsellors and Clients have adapted, to varying degrees, to a life explored in various capacities through now familiar Zoom links, Google meets and Teams groups.

How our language has adapted, our behaviours, our daily routines…

When I reflect on my own experience of this past year and a little more, I am incredibly thankful for so much. Living in the countryside on my family farm has afforded me space and time…including a list of jobs that needed doing the chance to get done! Though, as with most farms, many more added to an ever growing and evolving list. The humourous memes of dogs hiding on their owners to escape another walk abound…though ours would never miss the opportunity! Baking banana bread and raspberry and white chocolate muffins, signing up to online fitness classes and exploring the limits of my 5km. I zoomed with friends…and got exhausted by it…and came back to them again in different ways. This time has brought on a type of tiredness at times. The hope of 2021 in the final weeks of 2020, then the flatness felt collectively as figures rose and restrictions tightened in the time of shorter days.

These past fourteen months have not been without losses. My grandparents, on my mum’s side, both have passed away, a year and ten minutes to the day of each other. Watching their funerals on screens from across the Irish Sea will never replace the tangibility of presence. We also lost a family friend, who was in every way our Grandad, a larger than life personality. The impression left behind is one I would never want to forget and one that will never be filled in the same way. Restrictions limited our ability to celebrate their lives in the special way we come together, as neighbour, friend and family.

Loss has been a major theme of these times. Highlighted each day in the covid figures. In the beginning, I was like the majority, watching and waiting to hear what our stats were. Although self-preservation kicked in and I began to limit my exposure, my mind needed the space away from the constant news reel. I still check in, but not daily.

In our every day we have choices. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor who became an eminent US social psychologist, shared many significant social psychology concepts, one of which is the space between stimulus and response. In Frankl’s words, “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Every minute of every day, we are faced with choices of how to respond to the stimuli around us. Some of these choices are big, some of them are small. “Do I go to for a run this morning or this afternoon, or skip it all together? Do I respond to this “annoying” email now, later or never?”. At times, we don’t even get to the point of framing the question and the associated options; we just act. We respond by habit. Some of these habits serve us well, others perhaps, are a bit of a liability. While the context of Frankl’s writing is about big choices of morality, his ideas have application for the mundane and everything in between. The underlining frame is that we have choice once we give ourselves a breath and the space to respond.

Photo taken early morning on the Abbeyleix Bog Walk.

Online or Telephone Counselling – Does it work? What are the advantages?

Fri, 19 Jun 2020 16:10:22 GMT

Telephone and online counselling have been an option I offer for some time now and continue to find it works very well. With the continued impact of Covid 19 it will continue to be the primary way we can safely support our clients.

Accessibility

Online counselling is easily accessible to anyone who wishes to use it. For example, individuals living in rural or remote areas where there is no counselling services can benefit from the accessibility of telephone or online counselling. It removes the geographical barrier which may exist or save a long drive to the nearest town. Therefore available to everyone in all areas of Ireland.

Those that have a mobility issue or unable to leave their home (caring for small children/elderly parents or have no support system to allow you spend time away from home) can also easily access these services with little inconvenience.

Convenience

For some who may feel initially uncomfortable with traditional modes of face to face therapy, may find online or telephone counselling more suitable.

It’s highly flexible and can be accessed from your home, office or car, therefore maximising your privacy.

Ability to facilitate couples/family counselling across distances – trying to schedule couples or family counselling can be challenging, especially if one or more people in the group travel. Online counselling is a great option to bridge distances and help maintain regular therapeutic sessions.

I continue to follow the IACP Code of Ethics for telephone and online counselling and psychotherapy as is the case for traditional counselling. The same levels of confidentiality occur with both traditional and online counselling.

The current situation for many has given space and time to reflect on challenges they have been facing and be ready to seek additional support. Counselling can help to reconnect with resources and strengths, as well as develop new ones, to make life feel more manageable. Counselling isn’t a magic wand used to make problems disappear, the therapeutic process reduces the negative impact of challenges and contributes to a sense of hope and possibility.

Telephone and Online Counselling will continue throughout this time.

Podcasts worth a listen...

Sun, 04 Aug 2019 14:54:52 GMT

Podcasts are one of my guilty pleasures. Perhaps it's the fact there's a podcast on everything and anything available at the touch of a finger, we can listen to them online or offline, they're free, it can make a commute/tidying the house/running on a treadmill a little or a lot more interesting, they can inspire, educate and inform us. My two most recent listens are outlined here; Niall 'Bressie' Breslin's 'Where is My Mind' and Caroline Foran's 'Owning It: The Anxiety Podcast'. Both use personal experience, reflection, interviews and resources to support us.

For those new to podcasts I've included some tips on how to get started and an extract from Caroline Foran's book 'Owning It'.

Where is my Mind? is a podcast about how we can navigate the manic, always-on, and head-melting world we live in. Our lives are changing so quickly, its hard to keep up. Although a lot of this change is for the better, our culture is more fast paced, more polarised, more narcissistic, and more disconnected than ever, and that’s having a massive effect on our stress levels. We’re overwhelmed, we’re too busy, we’re out of balance.

In this podcast, Niall ‘Bressie’ Breslin talks about what impact this society has on us, and how we can deal with it by introducing the basics of mindfulness practice and meditation... and you’ll learn how to get off autopilot, how to navigate constant distraction, how to be a more skilful stress-head, how to focus on the parts of our world that are truly wonderful…. and even how to be deadly at Jenga.

Produced by Niall Breslin and Ciara O'Connor Walsh.

Owning It: The Anxiety Podcast - is a practical and relaxed series exploring everything from what anxiety is and why it happens to us, how our brains work and why it's actually very normal, to the various tools and techniques necessary for owning it. Author Caroline Foran shares her story, along with some expert input, in an attempt to help you show your anxiety who's boss. This is a series that tackles the reality of anxiety from a refreshing and relatable perspective.

Caroline describes her journey from childhood tummy pains to not being able to leave the house as an adult and how she finally came around to accepting herself and how to deal with stress and anxiety in her life.

Knowing your body and mind, being comfortable in your skin and educating yourself with information and knowledge can help you, Caroline explains, “once you understand it you are far better equipped to deal with it”. Caroline has written some bestsellers including Owning It and The Confidence Kit. I've included an extract from the 'Owning It' at the end to give you a flavour of it.

If you are new to podcasts... f irst, you’ll need a podcast app. If you have an iPhone, you should already have the Podcasts app installed. Android users can use Google Play Music, though there’s also a dedicated Google Podcasts app that has extra features.

You can also find most podcasts on Spotify. Other dedicated podcast apps include Pocket Casts, Overcast, Stitcher, and Podcast Addict.

Within your chosen podcast app, simply search for a podcast and hit Subscribe or Follow. Note that your app’s settings will determine whether or not episodes are automatically downloaded, whether downloads will require wi-fi, etc.

Extract from Caroline Foran's 'Owning It'

What is Anxiety?

Understanding what anxiety is, why we have it and how it affects us is the first port of call on your journey towards wellness and, trust me, just having this knowledge alone can alleviate some of what you’re feeling.

‘Anxiety’ is a word you’re well familiar with.

It’s a concept that’s thrown about on a daily basis, especially in today’s exaggerated world of social media, where Harry Styles might fancy himself a haircut, leaving the rest of us unable to ‘cope’ with the transformation. But few of us are versed in the specific brain chemistry that gives rise to feelings of anxiety. What’s more, few of us succeed in identifying its presence within ourselves – I certainly did not.

I understood this basic bodily function in the sense that you might pace the floor ‘anxiously’ awaiting the arrival of your exam results. I also had a vague understanding of the ‘fight or flight’ response and how, at least from an evolutionary perspective, it was essential for our survival.

It is our body’s innate way of protecting itself and when you take a moment to think about it, it’s actually kind of impressive. Obviously, it isn’t a feeling you’d relish, but that kind of anxiety made sense. It spurred you on. It showed that you cared. There was always an easily isolated reason that triggered it and, like clockwork, it passed with the event.

Until, one day, with no big anxiety-inducing event around the corner and no grizzly bears in my immediate vicinity, the very unsettling feeling of anxiety was just there. Always. What I had absolutely no clue about was how stress and anxiety can manifest themselves in different ways. That near-constant ache in my stomach wasn’t just because I had a dodgy tummy, it was because I was anxious, and that’s how my body tried to communicate this information to me.

This kind of anxiety is more of a slow burner, and it can be really hard to identify. I drove myself insane trying to figure out why my stomach was so reactive. One minute, I’d convinced myself I was allergic to tap water; the next, I had every kind of cancer imaginable. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and was therefore incapable of rationally connecting the dots.

I wasn’t listening to my body and while my stomach certainly had my attention, I wasn’t looking at the full picture of my lifestyle, past and present. So what started as subtle symptoms of stress eventually graduated to full-blown I-can’t-cope anxiety, otherwise defined as an intense negative emotion dominated by fear.

The prolonged stress resulted in me developing an oversensitive nervous system, which made me more susceptible to external and internal stressors, irrational thoughts, worries and fear (all of which are defining characteristics of anxiety), and, in turn, this made me fearful of the fear itself. I was no longer thriving. I was struggling to cope – literally – with the most basic aspects of living.

What was almost worse – and I appreciate how stupid this must sound, but bear with me – was the lack of dreadful things on which to pin the blame. There was no trauma, nobody had died, I had no near-death experience that left me reeling and there was nothing remotely sinister in my midst.

On paper, my life seemed to be firing on all cylinders. So what right had I to fall apart? And my inner turmoil only got worse when people said things like: ‘What have you got to feel down about?’ or ‘But you look fine.’

And that’s precisely where we need to cut the crap: our contemporary experience of anxiety is not dependent on something terrible that threatens our survival, nor is it a members-only club for people who’ve been dragged through the emotional trenches. Yes, there will always be someone worse off and if that kind of perspective improves your feelings of anxiety then great, but remember this: it’s all relative. You feel like crap. What you certainly don’t need is the added feeling that you have no right to feel crap.

The thing is, however, that even though we’ve evolved significantly in certain ways, our brains – and our bodies – react to stress in the same way they did when we were chasing down hyenas in the wild, and that’s arguably where evolution needs to hurry the f*ck up. Your brain just can’t tell the difference between running away from Freddy Krueger and a boss whose footsteps make you shudder in fear. It doesn’t need specifics about what the threat is, it just produces the necessary hormones for your survival, regardless of what’s going on.

Problems arise because the amygdala (the part of the brain that governs emotions and triggers alarm signals of fear in the brain) performs a bit like an ill-fitted burglar alarm; it can get a little overactive and think you’re in danger when you’re really just fine. It can also trigger long after you’ve endured something stressful. And the stress signals can become so strong that, over time, all thoughts become tinged with fear and alarm.

This is where things went wrong for me.

What starts as a little nudge from your body to say, ‘Hey, I don’t like this’ eventually becomes an avalanche of your overactive amygdala. If you’ve been worrying a lot over a long period of time and dealing with significant feelings of stress (significant to YOU), your prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain that thinks, reasons and calms our fears – is essentially exhausted (hence my inability to reassure myself that I wasn’t allergic to water), while your amygdala is trigger-happy, firing off warnings left, right and centre. Under normal circumstances, the production of cortisol (sometimes labelled ‘the stress hormone’) is regulated, but when it’s over-produced, it makes it hard for our brains to encode and recall memories accurately. Not ideal.

On the other hand, the good news is that if this higher part of your brain is functioning well – and that’s our task here – it can moderate strong fear. What’s more, you can train your higher brain to recognise the warning signs well before any strong feelings of fear or panic arise, which will calm the amygdala. This is a concrete and crucial step in tilting the balance towards the reasoning part of your brain.

In my own experience, this information alone was a huge relief: it wasn’t my fault that I felt this way, or that I couldn’t snap out of it at the click of my fingers. I couldn’t help the fact that all of my thoughts were tinged with fear; it was simply a result of my worn-out prefrontal cortex that simply needed a little patience from me and some TLC. It’s the same for you.

With this understanding of the brain, I was able to then step back and say, ‘Okay, you’re feeling quite anxious for no apparent reason, and things that wouldn’t normally make you fearful suddenly seem overwhelming, but this is why. Give yourself some time, accept that this is how your body functions and know that all will be well.’

This acceptance was an important part in assessing my anxiety, and helped me to move on to the next step – addressing it.

Treating the Trauma that Lingers in the Body

Tue, 21 May 2019 06:04:11 GMT

Recognising how trauma can be held in the body.

After experiencing trauma, many clients live in near-constant fear that it will happen again.

It’s not only the brain that goes into a vigilant state of bracing for danger – it’s the body and nervous system as well.

This illustration by the National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine, shares a glimpse of the impact of trauma.

It’s one way to help visualize how trauma can linger in the body. . . and keep us stuck in a state of “red alert” – even long after the danger has passed.

In working with someone who has experienced trauma one of the first things we do is offer choice. Often this is the one thing that has been denied to someone who has suffered trauma, along with a sense of control. Simple choices and a focus on strengths can open up the conversation and build a safe foundation from which to work from.

An excellent book to support this is ' The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in Healing the Trauma " by Bessel A. van der Kolk . He uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity. Based on Dr. van der Kolk’s own research and that of other leading specialists, The Body Keeps the Score exposes the tremendous power of our relationships both to hurt and to heal—and offers new hope for reclaiming lives.

What is Anxiety?

Sat, 23 Feb 2019 22:57:27 GMT

Worried about how anxious you feel? Wondering 'what is anxiety'? Learn how to tell the difference between ‘normal’ anxiety and an anxiety disorder. Find out about potential causes of anxiety disorders, anxiety symptoms and what to do if you feel that anxiety is affecting your life.

This can help if:

you often feel scared, worried, ‘on edge’ or nervous
you often worry that something bad will happen
you have difficulty concentrating because of fear or worry
you avoid doing things because of anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is the body’s physical response to fear. The symptoms might include:

racing heart
rapid breathing
sweaty palms
butterflies in your stomach
‘burst’ of energy.

Everyone feels anxious at times, and a certain level of anxiety is both normal and even helpful in some situations. Anxiety is our body’s way of keeping us safe. For instance, imagine you’re walking home, and you’re dragging your feet because you’re tired. Out of the corner of your eye, you think you see a vicious looking dog. Suddenly, you forget how tired you are and have a burst of energy that helps you to get away.

Anxiety can also motivate us. If we feel a bit anxious about an assignment that’s due, it can help us to get it done on time. However, feeling too much anxiety about something usually gets in the way and can be unhealthy.

What is an anxiety disorder?

Anxiety disorder occurs when anxiety starts to severely impact on a person’s life. Rather than feeling anxious in response to actual danger, someone with an anxiety disorder will experience the same symptoms in situations they perceive as dangerous (e.g. meeting new people or taking public transportation).

The various types of anxiety disorders include:

Generalised anxiety disorder : excessive worry about anything and everything, including worrying about worrying.
Social anxiety disorder : anxiety in social situations, often rooted in the fear of doing something wrong and being judged by others.
Panic disorder : repeated panic attacks and worry about future panic attacks.
Agoraphobia : anxiety about having a panic attack in certain situations and not being able to escape or to get help.
Specific phobias : intense fear of objects or situations (e.g. spiders).

What causes anxiety disorders?

Anxiety disorders aren’t caused by a single factor, but rather by a combination of things. A family history of anxiety, a person’s physical health, personality traits and stressful life experiences can all be contributing factors. Anxiety disorders are likely to develop over time and are usually sustained by unhelpful thinking patterns.

What can I do now?

· Learn some relaxation strategies that can help with anxious thoughts and feelings.

· See https://www.beechtreetherapy.ie/six-relaxation-techniques-to-reduce-stress

· Use problem solving to work through challenges that seem overwhelming

· Contact us for personalised support for anxiety

Six relaxation techniques to reduce stress

Sat, 23 Feb 2019 22:57:02 GMT

Practicing even a few minutes per day can provide a reserve of inner calm

We all face stressful situations throughout our lives, ranging from minor annoyances like traffic jams to more serious worries, such as a loved one's grave illness. No matter what the cause, stress floods your body with hormones. Your heart pounds, your breathing speeds up, and your muscles tense.

This so-called "stress response" is a normal reaction to threatening situations, honed in our prehistory to help us survive threats like an animal attack or a flood. Today, we rarely face these physical dangers, but challenging situations in daily life can set off the stress response. We can't avoid all sources of stress in our lives, nor would we want to. But we can develop healthier ways of responding to them.

One way is to invoke the "relaxation response," through a technique first developed in the 1970s at Harvard Medical School by cardiologist Dr. Herbert Benson, editor of the Harvard Medical School Special Health Report Stress Management: Approaches for preventing and reducing stress. The relaxation response is the opposite of the stress response. It's a state of profound rest that can be elicited in many ways. With regular practice, you create a well of calm to dip into as the need arises.

Following are six relaxation techniques that can help you evoke the relaxation response and reduce stress.

1. Breath focus. In this simple, powerful technique, you take long, slow, deep breaths (also known as abdominal or belly breathing). As you breathe, you gently disengage your mind from distracting thoughts and sensations. Breath focus can be especially helpful for people with eating disorders to help them focus on their bodies in a more positive way. However, this technique may not be appropriate for those with health problems that make breathing difficult, such as respiratory ailments or heart failure.

2. Body scan. This technique blends breath focus with progressive muscle relaxation. After a few minutes of deep breathing, you focus on one part of the body or group of muscles at a time and mentally releasing any physical tension you feel there. A body scan can help boost your awareness of the mind-body connection. If you have had a recent surgery that affects your body image or other difficulties with body image, this technique may be less helpful for you.

3. Guided imagery. For this technique, you conjure up soothing scenes, places, or experiences in your mind to help you relax and focus. You can find free apps and online recordings of calming scenes—just make sure to choose imagery you find soothing and that has personal significance. Guided imagery may help you reinforce a positive vision of yourself, but it can be difficult for those who have intrusive thoughts or find it hard to conjure up mental images.

4. Mindfulness meditation. This practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing, and bringing your mind's attention to the present moment without drifting into concerns about the past or the future. This form of meditation has enjoyed increasing popularity in recent years. Research suggests it may be helpful for people with anxiety, depression, and pain.

5. Yoga, tai chi, and qigong. These three ancient arts combine rhythmic breathing with a series of postures or flowing movements. The physical aspects of these practices offer a mental focus that can help distract you from racing thoughts. They can also enhance your flexibility and balance. But if you are not normally active, have health problems, or a painful or disabling condition, these relaxation techniques might be too challenging. Check with your doctor before starting them.

6. Repetitive prayer. For this technique, you silently repeat a short prayer or phrase from a prayer while practicing breath focus. This method may be especially appealing if religion or spirituality is meaningful to you.

Rather than choosing just one technique, experts recommend sampling several to see which one works best for you. Try to practice for at least 20 minutes a day, although even just a few minutes can help. But the longer and the more often you practice these relaxation techniques, the greater the benefits and the more you can reduce stress.

First published: September 2016 – By Julie Corliss Executive Editor, Harvard Heart Letter

( https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/six-relaxation-techniques-to-reduce-stress )

Mensana - Carlow's Mental Health Week

Sun, 07 Oct 2018 21:18:27 GMT

Free Talks and Events - October 6th - 19th 2018

Plenty of fantastic free talks and events happening around Carlow from October 6th to 19th 2018.

For full details see https://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Carlow-Mental-Health-Week-Mensana-2018.pdf

Making sense of CBT - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

Tue, 31 Jul 2018 19:46:24 GMT

An overview

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is based on a fairly simple idea which, when put into practice, can have wildly positive outcomes. CBT works by teaching you techniques and skills to challenge unhelpful thinking patterns and problem behaviours.

Through this therapy you are encouraged to talk about:

how you think about yourself, the world and other people
how what you do affects your thoughts and feelings

The diagram shows just one of the ways that CBT breaks down a problem into parts and how they are linked together . By talking about these things, CBT can help you to change how you think ('cognitive') and what you do ('behaviour'), which can help you feel better about life.

CBT is a very active type of therapy . We would typically work together on a weekly or fortnightly basis but will both agree on a treatment exercise for you to carry out between sessions. This could be in the form of a symptom monitoring diary, or a new activity or some form of behavioural experiment or another exercise. People who actively carry out these between session tasks tend to recover faster and with less chance of relapse.

Also CBT is a collaborative type of therapy . This means that the problem is shared between you and your therapist. As a therapist I'm not going to say that I can “fix” you – instead we will work as an equal partnership to tackle your problem. As a therapist I will bring my skill set in this area, and you will bring yourself, your experiences and your desire to change. Confronting fears and anxieties can be very difficult. I will not ask you to do things you do not want to do, and will only work at a pace you are comfortable with. During your sessions, I will continue to check you are comfortable with the progress you are making.

As CBT has developed over the years, it has been tested against many different types of problems and diagnoses and has been found to be an effective treatment for many of them. As such, CBT is often referred to as an “evidence-based” type of therapy, and you will be using CBT approaches that have been specifically developed for many of these specific problems.

References:

Anderson, J. (2014, June 12). 5 get-positive techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Everyday Health. Retrieved from http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/major-depression-living-well/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-technique...
Boyes, A. (2012, December 6). Cognitive behavioural therapy techniques that work: Mix and match Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques to fit your preferences. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in-practice/201212/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-techniques-work
Maxwell, G. (2018, July 29). Formulation in CBT - Breaking the problem down. Retrieved from https://accesscbt.co.uk/resources/articles/depression-new-dads/formulation-breaking-problem/

The First Meeting

Sat, 07 Apr 2018 18:22:27 GMT

What to expect from our first meeting...

The first time we meet is where I take time to find out what your current difficulty is and begin to develop a picture of how we can work together. We will spend some time discussing your expectations and I will give you an opportunity to ask any questions you may have about my work and experience.

Towards the end of our first session, I will be able to summarise what the problem is, what keeps it going, and what you need to do to make necessary changes.

I shall also find out exactly what you want to change. I shall be asking you for goals. These might be, for example,

manage or decrease stress, anxiety or panic attacks
help with intrusive thoughts or compulsions
better relationship skills
help you with work related stress
stop negative thinking
get a good nights sleep
improve your confidence or self esteem and help you to feel better about yourself

The reason we discuss goals in the first meeting, is to allow me to tailor a specific plan of therapy, that will help to ensure that you get what you need. It also keeps me accountable, and focuses me on what it is we need to work on together.

I shall also tell you in the first session, if there is a particular type of therapy (e.g. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or CBT) that I will work into your plan, what it is and how I think it would the most appropriate one to work on together.

We will also discuss the number of sessions we will work towards and why. I shall also talk to you about what future sessions will be like and what will be required from you.

Future sessions

Focus on the plan that we arranged in our first meeting. Many people think of counselling as where you come to talk about whatever is on your mind, and that can happen within a particular model of therapy, but I like to keep my counselling focused, on taking the steps to help you achieve what you discussed with me in our initial session.

Our future sessions stick to the plan that we both arranged in the first session, think of it as each session builds on the knowledge and the progress that you made in the previous session.

Because of my training we can ‘pull’ from other models of therapy, so to speak, as and when required. I have a wide interest in many areas and will draw on these as it feels appropriate for our work together.